“Through the program I was able to get closer to Allah, I was able to trust Him and realise He swt was not out there to get me”

I searched everywhere for help and that’s when I came across this program Alhamdulillah. The insight I received about my addiction was life changing. I realised that acting out was not my problem but was the solution to my problems until it stopped working. The program helped me see life from a different angle. I realised the problem was not out there but was in here, between my two ears. It was not the acting out, it was the acting in. It was my own shortcomings, my negative outlook on life, my conditioning, and my connection with Allah that kept me in the chains of addiction.

I had to let go of my old ways and developed a new way of life. I started to work the stages, built a network of recovery and started to take care of my mental and spiritual health. Through the program I was able to get closer to Allah, I was able to trust Him and realise He swt was not out there to get me. In fact, He the Most Merciful of those who show mercy wanted me to turn to Him, rely on Him, and surrender to Him Azza Wajjal. As Allah mentions in the Quran: “And Allah desires that He should turn to you (mercifully), and those who follow (their) lusts desire that you should deviate (with) a great deviation” (4:27). I came to that point where I could walk around freely knowing that Allah has taken care of me, he is taking care of me and always will. I stopped trying to quit this addiction on my own and handed myself over to Him to keep me sober, happy and free.

The program helped me see life from a different perspective. I realised the problem was not out there but was in here, between my two ears.

(Abdul Ahad, My Tazkiyah Member)

“I believe it is very beneficial to be a member on the forums and being coached”

I am a female who has been suffering with lust for a few years. I managed to find My Tazkiyah online. I was afraid to join, but I sent an email to know more information on My Tazkiyah. I received a reply and I decided to become a member on the forums. I mainly try to be active on the forums, particularly the Sharing forum. Whenever I post, it helps to let it out on whatever I am feeling and or going through. It is also helpful for me to hear from other members if they are able to relate and or give suggestions/advises.

After a year, I am now being coached. I had two sessions. The second session pulled me and made me realize some issues about myself that I was denying secretly inside my heart. I believe it is very beneficial to be a member on the forums and being coached. I believe these two together are extremely important that will help a person to quickly recover as long they are sincere.

Anonymous, Female My Tazkiyah Member

“Alhamdulillah through working the program I have had immense personal growth “

I have been trying to quit PMO since I was 15. I have tried many methods to combat this addiction, eventually falling back to relapses. I remember trying harder each each time and going to extreme measures to quit but it being of little avail in relation to my addiction.

An example – At 18, I journeyed India for 5 months for dawah work – I had hoped aloofing myself from a phone, internet and away from a hyper sexualised environment would help me quit and recover. Whilst I stayed away from pornography during this time, less than 2 weeks on my return I found myself returning back to pornography. I was dejected and gave up any hope in overcoming this addiction.

Through my teen years I found myself trying to minimise the addiction and to not think of it. Day by day I was escalating my usage and found myself increasing in the levels of filth/sin. I experienced the heavy and damaging consequences the addiction had on my deen, family life, education, career, social anxiety, mental health and physical health.

Alhamdulillah by the grace of Allah, aged 22 I reignited my desire to stop PMO. I wanted to live a healthy balanced life, have a strong connection with my creator, to have a happy marriage and a good father to my kids in the future.

I resorted to everything I knew – reddit forums on PMO, books on the harms of pornography and trying my level best to use willpower to overcome the addiction. Even though I was aware of the harms more than ever, I found myself constantly relapsing and couldn’t get away from the urges. In ramadhan that year I made much dua to Allah to help me.

Then I came across MyTazkiyah on a podcast. Their words penetrating my heart as if they were speaking directly to me. I got in contact with them and I started my coaching.

This was a life changing moment. Alhamdulillah through working the program I have had immense personal growth and unlocked the road to my potential best self that pornography was being a blockade to.

I discovered my self sabotaging behaviours that were causing me pain and resulted me using pornography as a coping mechanism. My coach identified my unhealthy relationship with my father – absent father, and guided me to work through my resentment. Subhanallah I grew such courage that I was able to sit down with him, talk about my pain and it’s solution. My belief that I couldn’t ever quit this addiction and that I was doomed has been changed to – Allah will help me to recover from this addiction.

I have developed connections with amazing brothers in recovery who I can relate with and be accoutable with – people of all different backgrounds and professions.

Alhamdulillah I have created a healthy lifestyle with boundaries in place. I am working on my connection with the Almighty and I am engaging in the necessary recovery work to help me with sobriety. I realised recovery is a journey, not a destination. I will always have to strive against my desire for lust that is instilled in me. And now that I have been exposed to pornography, I am more susceptible to it – as I have been using it as a coping mechanism.

I am indebted to My Tazkiyah who continue to support with me coaching, thanks to them I am on my way to unlocking my best self. I have realised this addiction was thriving in isolation, and no matter how hard I tried, real progress in recovery started when I reached out, was accountable and surrendered my addiction to Allah.

(B, My Tazkiyah Member)

“I was suffering silently on my own for years”

When I first joined I was worried about whether the program would work for me as I was suffering silently on my own for years. I sent sister Naeema several questions before I signed up and spoke to her on the phone too. She was responsive, helpful and really understood my concerns.

When the coaching sessions finally started I knew I made the right choice as sister Naeema was always thinking about what was best for me as she guided me through each stage. What I appreciated the most is her just being there to listen to my thoughts, fears and struggles without any judgement. She was always praising me for fighting through and helped me build the self confidence that I had lost a while ago.

Through her help I have managed to stay sober for four months Alhamdulilah. Even though we no longer have coaching sessions together, I still send her voice notes asking her for help. She always responds and offers great advice. Through the program and her help I feel I have become more connected to Allah swt and to my true self. I couldn’t thank her enough for her help!

Anonymous, Female My Tazkiyah Member

“I wanted to get better without drowning in guilt and feeling judged”

Being able to talk about my struggles out loud has always been an issue. I wanted to get better without drowning in guilt and feeling judged. And I can’t express enough how important it is to find someone that you can feel comfortable enough to talk to, who can see pass judgment and see my weaknesses for what they are rather than them being a reflection of me as a person. My coach goes out of her way to make you feel like you’re the only person in the room and ensures you are being heard.

She’s opened up my eyes to a whole new way of living and looking at things. everyday since has been a step towards improving my emotional and spiritual well-being and overcoming my addiction in a healthy way.

Anonymous, Female My Tazkiyah Member


“I am no longer fighting everyday”

My Tazkiyah really helped me to look at my addiction from a different perspective, I feel like I am no longer fighting everyday and can work on my sobriety with a clearer mindset.

Anonymous, Female My Tazkiyah Member

“Friendly and non-judgemental”

Naeema was a great coach. Two words come to mind: friendly and non-judgemental. She recognised my weaknesses to share and guided me in such a way that I felt reassured sharing difficult information with her; knowing she would give practical advise and unwavering support. I always received applicable strategies from Naeema that I still have in my toolkit today!

Anonymous, Female My Tazkiyah Member

“I was sceptical about it at first as I had no idea how an online program could help me tackle my addictions in an effective way. I was wrong!”

I reached my rock bottom many times and thought that recovery wasn’t possible. I felt hopeless, full of guilt, shame and all the other negative emotions after acting out and promising myself never to act out again. This cycle kept on repeating itself. I went to one counsellor after the other and I still didn’t see much improvement in my recovery and my addiction. That’s when a brother told me about My Tazkiyah.

I was sceptical about it at first as I had no idea how an online program could help me tackle my addictions in an effective way. I was wrong, as I joined the program the My Tazkiyah family were there to support me and they provided resources to actually use on a routine basis to help tackle the underlying issues behind the addictions.

I would definitely recommend My Tazkiyah as it is an environment where you won’t be judged for your addictions or character defects but rather an environment where everyone helps each other on their journey to lasting recovery. Insha’Allah.

(Anonymous, My Tazkiyah Member)

“At My Tazkiyah I realised I am not my addiction.”

I thought I just had a high sexual drive. Sometimes I thought I was just an evil soul or that I was a pervert. At My Tazkiyah I realised I am not my addiction.

(Abu Laith, My Tazkiyah)

“I was on the brink of losing my marriage and career but by the will of Allah this program helped me reclaim my life.”

This program literally changed my life. I was on the brink of losing my marriage and career but by the will of Allah this program helped me reclaim my life when I was at a stage where I thought there was no hope for me, May Allah bless the brothers who were there for me.

(Anonymous, My Tazkiyah)

“I now have a new routine, and some new tools that I use regularly and I have been sober for quite some time now, Alhamdulillah”

My Tazkiyah is an amazing programme. Through this programme I started to feel human again. I didn’t have to hide and feel like a hypocrite or feel like I was living a double life which usually led to depression. The coaches were extremely understanding and helped me overcome my shame, fear, and guilt. Also, having a network of other brothers who are going through the same problems as I am was really supportive as we got to message and call one another and support one another on our journey as well as keeping each other accountable. It also made me realise that I wasn’t alone. After Allah I had a group of loving and supportive brothers who were helping me get through this struggle together.

Throughout the programme I was able to identify emotions and triggers that usually led to my destructive habit. I was also able to come to terms with trauma from my past, from childhood, and relationships and able to overcome them as well as forgiving myself, and other people and being able to address the trauma and also let go and let God.

I now have a new routine, and some new tools that I use regularly and I have been sober for quite some time now, Alhamdulillah. I have also been able to help some of my friends and brothers who were maybe too shy to seek professional help, using the tools and strategies that I picked up from this programme, and they have also been making progress.

I am now trying to get ready and prepare for marriage and I am grateful that I was able to strive to battle this issue beforehand. I really recommend My Tazkiyah to anyone who is struggling with this addiction as they are friendly and make you feel comfortable and actually get to know you personally. May Allah accept their efforts as well as the brothers and sisters who are battling and striving to overcome this addiction and may He cure all the brothers and sisters suffering from this disease Ameen.

Abu Uthman, My Tazkiyah Member

“Today I live a life as a single individual not a torn personality conflicted from the inside.”

One fine afternoon I was at my friend’s house and his parents were not at home. He took me to his room switched on the TV and started playing a porn video! Initially I was shocked scared but intrigued at the same time, little did I know that this small moment in his bedroom would shape the next 10 years or so of my life. I must have been 16 or 17 years old at that time and these few minutes of a clip that I had watched robbed me of my childhood my innocence.

I soon developed the habit of borrowing CDs from this very friend and watching porn at my home when I was alone. Over the years the addiction escalated to more and more explicit material especially with the intervention of the internet and smartphones which made having access to porn easier.

The ill effects of porn seeped into every area of my life- Prayer, studies, relationships etc, I reached a point of deep depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. The pain caused by this addiction was unbearable I felt like a hypocrite who was doomed to go to Hell.

Over the years I purchased many self-help books, bought many recovery programs that specifically dealt with porn addiction and to my surprise none of them worked, this made me even more hopeless and I thought I was a special case- A person so deeply addicted that he could never be cured. (I was very wrong!)

Although I was an addict I never lost faith in Allah, I was not such a practicing Muslim but I still managed to pray most of my prayers (more or less) and I always made this Dua to Allah that he cures me from this disease.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah (a thousand, a million times) Allah guided me to My Tazkiyah. It was here that I learned the most valuable lesson of my life- “Surrendering to Allah and relying on him Alone “. My reliance on Allah was merely lip service previous to this, but now I started to internalize this fundamental idea and boy did it change things completely! The program helped me to realize that porn is just the tip of the iceberg and that there are deeper reasons why we go to it and use it. To add to this, I also need a support network a group of people who are going through the same struggles as me and who could support me and help me when in need and the My Tazkiyah community provided just that.

Today I live a life as a single individual not a torn personality conflicted from the inside. I feel more connected with Allah, relying more on Him than I have ever had to in my life which just makes me believe that this addiction was nothing but a blessing in disguise.

(Z, My Tazkiyah Member)

“I tried many programs before and managed to get clean but did not experience the peace and joy that I got with the My Tazkiyah program.”

I am a changed man and more calm and collected as my friends have pointed out. I tried many programs before and managed to get clean but did not experience the peace and joy that I got with the My Tazkiyah program. Definitely something special about the brothers here.

(Abu Esa, My Tazkiyah)

“That connection and exposure of the problem is what you need to really recover.”

The help and support I got from the My Tazkiyah staff was priceless. Whenever I would message Ustad Abu Musa he would be there to answer my questions and provide me with the solutions. That connection and exposure of the problem is what you need to really recover and heal from porn addiction and I got all of that from the program.

(Abu Abdullah, My Tazkiyah)

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, this is what we do this for!

Success stories like these are what keep us going and make us want to strive even harder on this path.