Porn addiction has become one of the most alarming situations in our homes and societies. Individuals become victims of this addiction and are not even aware of it. Scholars, leaders, parents, and teachers are struggling to reduce the harmful effects of this addiction but the on the other side the porn industry is at its peak. The porn industry has a firm grip on today’s youth and this is why we need deal with this problem head on.

The root causes of Porn Addiction

We may think that porn addiction comes from having a high sexual drive or only someone who can not control their desires and have a lack of discipline get addicted but this is far from the truth. The problem is in the “self”. We have to realise deeply that it is not about the porn, masturbation or what we see on the screen. The problem is much deeper then this. These are all forms of “acting out”. The problem lies in the “acting in”.

The causes for this addiction could be many. It could be a mixture of what we have experienced in life, our conditioning, our core beliefs, unhealed wounds, struggling with negative emotions and thinking patterns, trauma, anxiety, depression, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). These are the main causes which need to be dealt with in order to recover.

The above mentioned issues combined with the easy availability of porn material is a toxic mix. With other drugs, one has to go through a lot of struggle such as raising money and going to a dealer to get to get the goods but with this drug you can just open your browser and get instant access and on you go to the path of destruction. With pornography you are just a few clicks away from being a victim. We have gathered some data about the effects of pornography addiction on the social and family life of an addict.

Lack of Sexual Satisfaction

Sexual content and porn movies are created with a script and everything seems perfect in these movies. Individuals who watch pornography develop a warped understanding of how sexual intimacy looks like. Users become conditioned by what they see and tend to impose these expectations on their partners. Pornography and masturbation disturbs human perception about sex in relationships and that leads to a lack of sexual satisfaction in married couples.

Growth in Divorce rates

When a person watches porn frequently, they become a victim of their fantasies. An individual wants their sex life to be the same as they see on the screens. A study presented at the 2016 American Sociological Association’s annual meeting, suggested that men and women who begin to consume pornography partway through their marriages are more likely to get a divorce than their non–porn-consuming peers.

Sexual satisfaction is a key part of a happy married life. Watching pornography disturbs the sexual drive and leads to addictions. Addictions lead to chemical imbalances in the brain which cause an emotion imbalance within a person. This emotional imbalance can create clashes and fights between couples due to the erratic behaviour of an addict. A large portion of divorced couples have been victims of these issues where one partner was not satisfied with the sexual capacity of the other and you would almost always find a direct link to pornography use.

Intimacy between partners is the measure of any healthy and happy relationship. If the partners are more intimate, the bond between the partners will be stronger. There is a misconception in so-called modern society that viewing porn will help people to learn about sex education but the results have declared that this approach leads to more problems than good.

Self-Esteem of Spouse

An individual whose partner watches porn for sexual satisfaction, suffers from low self-esteem. They might feel that they are not suitable for their partner and that’s why their partner is attracted towards watching porn. An addict also seeks the perfect body and sex drive in their partner and that is an unrealistic expectation for any individual.

People loose confidence in their relationship and they might think that if they were good enough, why would their spouse be involved in these types of activities? In reality, it’s not the persons fault at all and nothing is wrong with them. The problem lies in the addicts perception of sexual drives which has been distorted through porn use. This disturbs the peace of a marriage and has a ripple effect on other members of the family such as the children.

The family is at Risk

Children are an important part of a successful married life. Children are the base of love between a husband and wife. Porn addiction has a detrimental effect on children and this is caused by the same emotional and spiritual problems that are imposed on an addict due to their addiction. Addicts tend to get irritable, angry and restless when they are not able to access their drug. These  character defects are magnified due to the use of pornography and masturbation and this leads to a vicious cycle. Pornography is referred to as the online crack/cocaine due to it’s alarming effects on the brain. Studies were conducted on individuals watching pornography and their were similar changes noted in the brain as a person taking heroin.

Disturbed Social and Work Life

Family and friends are a major part of one’s social life, they need your attention and love. Porn addiction disturbs your social circle as users tend to isolate themselves and start to spend more time on virtual reality then the time they spend with their loved ones. Addiction thrives in isolation and the more isolated you become, the more you tend to live in your head and as they say an empty mind is the devils workshop. This negative environment will in turn have an effect on your overall happiness.

Professional life demands your full potential and energy in order to perform well. A porn addict feels broken inside. Due to the addiction, their mental and physical health deteriorates. They feel they are missing something. Working with many individuals we have witnessed cases where this addiction was having a detrimental effect on peoples work, studies and marriages. The causes for all the various issues were the same, an emotional malady. The individual is filled with guilt, remorse, despair and self-hate due to their acting out sprees. They felt a contradiction, they were showing people one face but on the inside they felt inadequate, incompetent, isolated and lonely to a point where they became pessimistic and hopeless over their addiction. Living in such turmoil would surely be enough to end anyone’s marriage, career or academic life.

To solve this problem individuals must have a zero tolerance approach towards this addiction.

2 thoughts on “The impact of Pornography on Intimate Relationships

  1. Abu Laith says:

    I have heard this alot of times where the spouse is feeling insecure about themselves due to their partners addiction.

    An individual whose partner watches porn for sexual satisfaction, suffers from low self-esteem. They might feel that they are not suitable for their partner and that’s why their partner is attracted towards watching porn. An addict also seeks the perfect body and sex drive in their partner and that is an unrealistic expectation for any individual.

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