Eight Stages to Recovery
New Member Guide
This forum is for new members to learn how to work the program. Please feel free to message and ask any questions.
This Forum is for general discussion and for sharing any thoughts or ideas with others.
The First Stage
“We reach out”
Addiction thrives in isolation. It is like fungi that only grows in the dark, this is why we have to shine light on it in order for it to stop growing. When alone, we are more susceptible to negative thoughts and more likely to act on these thoughts. as the saying goes “an idle mind is the devils workshop”. This is why it is important to reach out and ask for help.
Unfortunately, in the Muslim community it is not easy to get help with porn/sex addiction because it is a taboo subject. Porn and sex addiction is a big issue in our Ummah which needs more awareness and support as there are thousands suffering in silence. By coming to this website, you have already worked on your first step. Reaching out is not easy but it is necessary for recovery, we have to break isolation. If we don’t share the problem, we will not find a solution.
The Second Stage
“We build a network of recovery.”
Recovery cannot be done alone. It doesn’t matter how much strength or knowledge you may have; there will always be times when you need outside help. When you are going through tough times and are feeling vulnerable, having a strong support network who share the same struggles and addiction as you, can be a very effective tool in maintaining sobriety. Only other addicts will know your struggle and be able to help you when in need.
Sometimes all an addict needs is to see things from a different perspective. A lot of times addicts have come to me with problems and after going through it with them we realised there was no problem, the issue was their perception. With your support network you can bring the inside out. You can share your thoughts without being judged or looked down upon and see things from a different perspective.
The Third Stage
“We develop a daily routine”
In recovery we don’t only need abstinence from lust, we need a change of lifestyle. We need to reach out, build a network of recovery and develop a new way of life. A way of life that will help us stay aware of our addiction and get closer to Allah. The aim of this program is to get us closer to our creator. We do this by keeping conscious contact with Allah throughout the day. When you join the program, you will have access to worksheets for many of the stages, this includes a worksheet on your daily routine.
The Fourth Stage
“We accept that we are hopeless over this addiction and realise that only Allah can cure us.”
-We accept we are hopeless.
In addiction, there is one very important factor. That is to admit there is a problem before real recovery can begin. This stage consists of two parts; Accepting that on your own you are hopeless over this addiction and realising that only Allah can cure you. This stage is vital and one of the most important stages in the program..
The Fifth Stage
“We place our tawakkul in Allah (swt)”
In this stage we take action on the fourth stage. To make it simple, this Stage means that you have to get out of your own way.
The Sixth Stage
“We do a personal housecleaning and go through a process of acceptance.”
This is the stage in which you really dig deep into your life and go through the process of self discovery. At this point you look at what is really going on, you examine yourself and put the pen to the paper. In this Stage, you eliminate opportunities for denial by taking an honest and sometimes uncomfortable look at yourself, your character defects and the effect these behaviours have on you.
The Seventh Stage
“We work on the fourth condition of tawbah.”
This stage is similar to the sixth stage. The difference is, the sixth stage was a personal house cleaning whereas this stage is a social house cleaning. In this stage you work on selflessness and work on recognising the damage your destructive behaviour may have caused. In order to continue moving forward, you have to be willing to make amends to people you may have harmed in your past and clear the wreckage of your past. By doing this you work on reducing the pain of your character defects such as grief, anger, resentment and regret. The important part in this stage is the willingness to make amends. You will realise that it is not always possible to make amends.
Now that we have made a list of people whom we have harmed and have written what we have done and who we have done it to, we have to take the necessary steps to right our wrongs.
The Eighth Stage
“We develop a routine of daily self care that will help us get closer to Allah (swt)”
The eighth stage is an affirmation of the previous stages and directs towards working the program daily in our lives.
-We work the sixth stage daily
This means we do a sixth stage on whatever is bothering us during our day and work a quick solution on our “problem.” So, whatever we are bothered by, we work out where we are wrong, which one of our character defects has come to the surface and then we deal with that problem by giving it away to Allah via stage four-five. We admit we are powerless over the situation, that Allah is All-Powerful and we rely on him to sort out our problem.